Ant and Dec

Why do we voluntarily call them 'Ant' and 'Dec'? It's like being co-opted into some kinda high school too-cool club where the leaders get to choose their own nicknames.

The kinda school where girls are called 'Decca' and 'Tanith' and the sacred rules regarding the non-engagement of the sexes is cast aside. The kinda school where Bacchanalian rites of passage are part of the compulsory 3rd year curriculum with A-level petting a popular option.

The kinda school where the kids' cars outnumber the teachers and bullying doesn't happen because it's a bit louche.

The kind of school that you didn't go to.

'And' and 'Dec'? Not on my watch, buddy-boy.

Why not go for it and call them 'cunt' and 'cunt'? I think the public would get used to it. After all: does anybody care which one's which?